I’m Back and More Lies and Truths #5
August 10, 2007 at 12:48 am (corn, crying, dad, divorce, family, friends, fun, law, little, miss, ozzfest, ozzy, truths)
So after a long break (Ok only a little bit) I am back thanks to Little Miss Law who went on a grand vacation and since she had the wherewithall to post right after she got home.I figured I should probably quit playing Internet Scrabble on http://www.isc.ro (which by the way rocks lol when your bored or wasting time). And write to my adoring fans (NOT),
I have been so freaking busy with work that I actually have not been online as much as normal. We planned out our corn maze for OCT and this week we are planting (although from everyones point of view except the bosses we are planting to late). The boss man screwed up and we are now getting paid to sit on our butts and seperate the corn from the soybeans and boy my god its taking forever. Hopefully all will turn out ok. Some friends who live about an hour away showed up at the house last night which was great they have a kiddo to play with mine and so they had a blast last night and today will be running each other ragged I am sure.I like when they come because they are about the same age as me and HIM so we both have someone with kids to talk to and he trust me around them which is unlike E my best friend who calls 50 times a night if we go out together ughh(another story for another day).
Also Little Miss Law introduced me today to 3 new blogs I really like.
BLOG #1 http://rantasaurus-rex.com/ (you have to read the post from 8/8/2007and 8/1/2007 man they are both so fucking true I love these guys they rock . Gawd how many times have those 2 posts happened to you? And yes that is a question I want answered in my comments you guys lol
BLOG #2 http://charmingbutsingle.com/ To cute and funny I really enjoy her sense of humor. Definately read this post on a past love of hers she hits the nail on my head lol
BLOG #3 The Fish Needs a Bicycle excellent blog and I loved her post (GO READ IT DAMN IT) ”how to lose a girl in 10 words omg that is so funny I can’t believe these guys. But yet she is not just funny she is an amazing wonderful writer as you can tell from this piece “Early Mourning” it has brought me to tears and made me wonder why I am bothered by such minute things when I could have to face this in my future.
So thanks again to Little Miss Law who rocks and sounds like she had an awesome time on her vacation and probably got all tan while she was gone (while I was getting sunburned and drunk at free ozzfest in dallas lol) Which by the way rocked Ozzy can still sing (no he does not mumble like on that reality show(that yes I watched lol) He sang mostly old Black Sabbath with a few just Ozzy songs and one new one from the Black Rain album. And Zakk Wild did an awesome guitar solo for 15 min. that ended with the star spangled banner. Good times baby.
So onto Truth or Lies since I owe you all an update we are on #5 which was I was married once beforewhen I was 16.
Which is a LIE lol I was married once before but I was 17 lol and I was stupid and wanted out of my parents house so I married the first guy that did at least treat me right but was incredibly wrng for me and who I thought I loved but we know the answer to that was a big fat NO lol. So stay tuned and I promise to be back I still need to throw my 2 cents in on the last Harry Potter book next time lol.
My Horoscope
June 14, 2007 at 5:17 pm (affair, affairs, cheating.cheaters.cheater, crying, divorce, forced, love, rape, sex)
So last night I created this account because of my goddamned crappy shit mood thanks to HIM.
So this morning I open my email from tarot.com to find that it says: Pisces: Try talking about your frustration …
Talk about irony him. I don’t know if I believe in them or not but todays hit the nail on the head.
The whole thing stems from the fact that made a deal with HIM to clean the whole house and I would give him sex. Yeah I know I am a MOM whore but man in the past I can usually do it no problem a few fake ohhhhs and yes harder harder please daddy yes daddy (no he is not my dad he just likes that UGHH) So we had made the deal like 4 days ago and I kept putting it off making up one excuse after another until finally I had to he was getting mad. (Stupid ass he knows I so don’t want HIM) So I finally go in about 12 or so and wake HIM up and say ok come on lets get this over with I got stuff to do online. I am on all fours (so he can’t kiss me and I don’t have to look at HIM) and the stupid fuck can’t get it up. (I am so frickin happy) He tries and tries he tries forcing it in but can’t I am as dry as mexican beach. So I tell HIM get some lotion because your not gonna find me to get wet at all. So he gets some and still can’t wank himself hard. SO I give up and say well if you can get it up I will be in the office just come get me and then we can get this bullshit over.
So about 20 minutes later he says please can’t I try to get you off I will talk dirty to you I will watch you masterbate any thing please. SO I give in and go in there get myself off and finally his stupid ass gets hard. And as he finally starts fucking me I start to just think about THE OTHER. The One man who makes me feel good about myself who I loved to be around and all I can think about is how much I hate this being fucked like a dog and wanting the one person I can’t have.
I feel so fucking dirty like a goddamn whore in an alley with him grunting and moaning and say9ng how tight it is (as he says this I think well duh its tight I am dry you stupid cunt. Then the silent tears start you know the ones that just roll slowly and quietly and you try not to sniff or make a sound so know one will hear. I just can’t take it and when I think I am about to give up finally he grunts and comes.
I am so grateful its over that hes done I just get up and leave. Thats when he realizes I am crying and he says whats wrong.
WHATS WRONG
Well I feel like a whore I feel like you raped me I HATE YOU I don’t want you I have told you over over and over I DON”T LOVE YOU anymore. But I am still here still spreading m,y legs for you and I wish I wasn’t but I can’t help it I have to stay.
Of course I didn’t say all that because I just didn’t want to talk to HIM so I keep my mouth shut and under my breath just said I HATE YOU. Maybe he heard maybe he didn’t . Knowing him he did and once again he is ignoring the fact that I don’t love HIM anymore.
